Thanks to shows like True Blood, it’s hard to pretend to be a vampire these days without actively biting people and going to jail. Fortunately, the company Harcos has a solution that can keep wannabe vampires from the tip of the taser long enough for them to snap out of it and maybe get into college.
Harcos is a company that makes energy drinkers for gamers. Their previous drinks include Mana Energy Drink and Health Energy Drink. Health Energy Drink is red and comes in an old-timey bottle, so you’d think that would be enough for people who crave real blood. Think again. The demand for a realistic bloody energy drink was so high that Harcos created Blood Energy Potion. I guess they added “potion” to the name to appeal to people who think they’re both vampires and wizards.
Remember the days when people drank refreshments out of bottles like functioning human-beings? Fuck those days. That shit is done. Now the container that the liquid comes in is just as important as the liquid itself.
Blood Energy Potion doesn’t come in a beaker or a plastic bottle. It comes in a genuine IV bag because that’s where real blood is stored. How else can people be sure they’re drinking real blood? And, more importantly, who’s going to know they’re drinking real blood unless a fucking IV bag full of blood gets slapped down on a desk during an English lecture?
Nurse! Give me 500 ccs of FUCKING DELICIOUS!
Oh look, it’s “fangtastic fruit punch” flavor. Until now, the only place you could get fruit punch flavored blood was one of those islands where all they ate are coconuts and pineapples. And, to be honest, that blood still tastes sort of like blood.
The bag also has directions on the back to warm the blood up to 98.6 degrees. That’s handy if your psychologist hasn’t already taken away your microwave privileges.
I guess Harcos has a big enough niche market to sell an energy drink the looks, feels, and comes packaged like real blood. I can understand it selling well during Halloween and as an impulse buy because it’s fucking ridiculous, but who’s going to the store and buying Blood Energy Potion during Christmas? Do fake vampires even celebrate Christmas? You’d think all the Jesus talk and pictures of angels would at least make a pretend vampire come down with a cold. And what would vampires ask for on Christmas? The warm touch of another? It must be hard not getting that year after year.
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i can’t picture any functioning member of society actually thinking twice about picking up this bag of fruity blood, taking it to the register, and staring the cashier in the face while they ring it up. i agree that it is a good halloween novelty but otherwise, haha i don’t think so