I think I do my part to help prevent climate change. I turn off the lights in rooms I’m not in, and I stopped leaving the fridge open to cool the kitchen. But every time I think I’m doing enough to help the environment, an organization releases an advertisement about something else that’s killing the earth.

Take, for example, this recent climate change ad by the forward thinkers at Plane Stupid. The members of Plane Stupid hate planes and aviation because of the amount of pollution produced by aircraft. They decided to help us all understand their position by dropping a polar bear on a car.

Do you see what you’re doing by visiting your family in Buffalo? If you loved the gentle polar bear, you’d hitchhike to Buffalo like a good citizen of the planet. I’d tell you to bring some mace just on the off chance that some crazy serial rapist picks you up, but spraying that stuff can’t be good for the ecosystem.

If I had designed that commercial, I would have went with penguins instead of polar bears. Everyone loves penguins. A penguin would probably give you a hug and maybe bring you a fish. Polar bears tear off a person’s skin and use it as a birthing-blanket.

My version of the commercial would also be a bit more logical and on point. How did those polar bears get up in the sky? Polar bears can’t fly, so someone must have kidnapped them, loaded them on a PLANE, and then dropped them from a couple thousand feet. How much fuel does a plane full of polar bears use? I bet it uses more fuel than a plane full of people considering how huge polar bears are and how low the pilot would have to keep the air conditioner to help the bears feel at home.

~Thanks Plane Stupid