lips smoking cigarette

Smokers Get Down On Their Knees For Tobacco

by on February 25, 2010

I‘ve heard that cigarettes are addictive, but I’ve never tried them myself. For this reason, I’m not sure if someone would give someone else a blow job for a cigarette. I’m sure it has happened in the past when some poor college student ran out of smokes right before a big exam or something, but that’s a perfect storm of a situation involving low finances, stress, and essay questions on Constitutional law.

Maybe it’s a bigger problem over in France, where the ads I’m about to show you originate. Maybe you can’t even walk down the street over there without someone offering to blow you for half a Marlboro. But if that was the case, France would have a much larger tourism industry.

I can't read French, but I'm guessin that says something about deep throat cancer.

I can't read French, but I'm guessing that says something about deep throat cancer.

How does he expect to get anything out of that cigarette with such poor lip form?

How does he expect to get anything out of that cigarette with such poor lip form?

The idea behind these ads is that every time you smoke, you’re giving some tobacco executive a blow job. I read somewhere that over 15 billion cigarettes are sold daily, so there are either a whole lot of tobacco executives or each tobacco executive is hooked up to some kind of grid comprised of millions and millions of penises.

Since cigarettes cause cancer, does that mean that ejaculate from a tobacco executive’s penis also causes cancer? Someone should file a report and get the word out before the global escort industry is decimated.

All joking aside, I think these ads are important. If we can’t manage to convict tobacco executives for killing off large portions of our population, maybe we can get them on the sexual abuse of minors. A surprising number of kids start smoking every day. I’m just saying.

~thanks Buzzfeed
post image by Fazen

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Mike Lo April 19, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Good write up. Smoking sucks. No kidding.

emily May 12, 2010 at 7:39 pm

the approximate translation is “to smoke, is to be the slave of tobacco”

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