Last Friday, the famous Bollywood actor Shah Rukh Khan orchestrated a brilliant advertising stunt for his upcoming movie “My Name is Khan,” which is about racial profiling. Khan, against all odds, somehow managed to get himself detained for questioning after landing at the Newark, NJ airport.
The obvious benefit from this incident is that now “My Name is Khan” will receive even more attention and its message about racial profiling will ring true. But why else would Khan go to the trouble of having himself detained? I have a few theories.
To Promote His Action Films
We have to remember that Khan is a trained actor with leading roles in several Bollywood films that we’ve never heard of. Going by the numerous pictures of Khan flexing and glistening, I can only assume that some of these movies were supposed to be action films. Khan must have wanted to seem threatening enough to get detained and create buzz about his “badass” Bollywood backlog.
Usually, a Muslim is only considered threatening while waving around an AK-47 or driving a taxi. Since both these items are impossible to fit in carry-0n luggage, Khan must have relied on something else to look intimidating.
Given what little he had to work with, Khan probably arrived in Newark dressed as one of his past action movie characters. Based on what seems to pass as an action movie in India, I’m confident that he landed dressed as either
Wet construction worker holding rope
A construction worker is scary enough to the average airport immigration officer, but a shirtless, wet construction worker holding a rope can cause mass hysteria. He could do all sorts of terrible things with that rope, what with his obvious knowledge of construction. Is he wet because he just lowered a bomb down an airport toilet? Or is he wet because he just put a smaller bomb into an airport water fountain?
Wind-swept boy band member with open fly
I doubt this outfit intimidated airport security, but the open shirt and open fly is a red flag for an immigration official. It’s an obvious attempt to blend in with the dozens of half-dressed Americans also landing in New Jersey. The only reason a Muslim would get off a plane with his clothing hanging off is if the pilot wanted to keep the Muslim in a state of undress on the flight to ensure he wasn’t smuggling any religious or praying utensils.
To Advertise Islam
India is over 80% Hindu, and followers of Islam like Khan have been fighting for a stronger foothold for years. By getting himself detained by airport security, Khan is reaching out to younger generations in India who will see his actions and possibly equate Islam to something “extreme” like rock climbing or buying American jeans.
This is the same plan being used by “extremist” Muslims across the globe. Admittedly, these older “extremist” Muslims are a bit out of touch with the Muslim youth. Sometimes they find it difficult to convince younger Muslims that riding a motorcycle filled with explosives into a church is just as extreme as smoking or hang-gliding.
To Advertise An Upcoming Movie
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Khan was questioned for 66 minutes. Sixty-six minutes is a strange amount of time to hold someone for questioning at the airport. Usually, after a half an hour or so the suspect is dead or back on the street showing off his new tracking implant.
Reports about the event claim that Khan was held for 66 minutes because the airport lost his bag. I think this was a clever ruse by Khan to ensure that he was held for just the right amount of time. I’ve heard rumors that Khan is planning on a followup to Al Pacino’s 2007 classic “88 Minutes.” Khan will take over the role of Pacino’s character “Jack Gramm,” but the last name “Gramm” will be changed to “Khan” since no one outside of India will ever see the film.
In the end, the only person who knows why Khan got himself detained at the Newark airport is Khan. One thing is certain, immigration officials will have to be careful who they detain in the future now that Khan has shown that famous Muslims can use airport detainment as a type of advertising.