Quentin Tarantino’s most recent movie, Inglourious Basterds, is set in France during the second… Ok, it’s a movie about killing Nazis and it’s fantastic. The movie really knows how to play off its strengths so Nazis get shot, Nazis get blown up, scalped, beaten, knifed, choked, burnt. One character in the movie, Donny Donowitz “The Bear Jew,” is particularly beloved for his penchant to beat Nazis to death with a baseball bat.
Tarantino is a director who dislikes product placement in his films. Instead, he chooses to create his own products such as Red Apple Cigarettes, Jack Rabbit Slim’s Restaurants, and Big Kahuna Burger. Quentin did the same thing in Inglourious Basterds with Donny’s baseball bat. And I bet baseball bat manufacturers everywhere are devastated that they couldn’t get a piece of that action.
The Bat
There is one promotional poster for Inglourious Basterds that clearly shows the fictional bat company.
Look at him. He's just like Indiana Jones with his whip except that Indiana's whip wasn't covered in brain matter.
The company is “Hutton and Aldrich,” which according to this blog is a homage to two of Tarantino’s favorite directors — Brian G. Hutton and Robert Aldrich.
Another interesting fact about the bat is that it is signed by all the Jews in Donny’s neighborhood. A scene was shot to explain this, but it didn’t make the final cut. Before I found the interview, I thought the names were just some of Donny’s favorite jewelry stores.
Why Advertise With The Bat
There are a lot of other missed advertising opportunities in Inglourious Basterds, but Donny’s bat is the best one for a few reasons:
- kids
- people who hate Nazis
- people who want to look cool
Another missed advertising chance. But I doubt the "Smoke Like A Nazi" campaign would have gained much traction.
I know the movie is rated R, but kids know how to use the Internet. This is why kids, and not just Jewish kids, are all going to want to be Donny Donowitz for Halloween. I think Donny is especially important for Jewish kids because how many times are they going to dress up as Magneto from X-Men? And I doubt any kids want to dress up as my favorite Jew — Dan Rydell from Sports Night. A bat manufacturer could be booming right now in preparation for trick or treating:
“No, Mommy! I need the EXACT bat Donny had in the movie!”
“DAD! Nazi skulls are too thick for some Walmart bat.”
People who hate Nazis would also be a huge market. I hate Nazis, but I can’t buy a genuine Nazi-beatin’ bat because Hutton and Aldrich is a fake company. If Louisville Slugger had sponsored the movie, I’d have a bat in every room. I’ve had to compromise by buying other devices from the movie that were used to kill Nazis, like matches and guns.
People who want to look cool is probably the largest potential market. Right now, bleugeoning Nazis to death is the coolest. The only thing cooler is bashing Nazis in the snow with some kind of ice bat. If a bat manufacturer had forced Taratino’s hand, baseball bats could be the next Uggs. But since there’s no way to know if you have a genuine “Donowitz,” everyone would just accuse each other of having knock-offs:
Person 1: “Hey, is that a real Donowitz?
Person 2: “That’s right. I want to be prepared.”
Person 1: “I don’t know, man. It looks kind of brittle.”
Person 2: “Oh, it’s real. I paid over two-hundred dollars for it.”
Person 1: “I think someone took you. Did it come with a Nazi dog tag?”
Person 2: “..what?”
Person 1: “you know, the genuine Nazi dog tag that all Donowitz bats come with?”
Person 2: “Great. Now what am I supposed to do with it? Play baseball?”
The Other Side
There are some who think that glamorizing an instrument of death is both wrong and irresponsible.
Look, a bat is not an instrument of death when it’s used to kills Nazis. I consider it more an instrument of karma. What do you expect me to do if a Nazi climbs into my backyard and starts scapegoating? I could call the police but do the police have bats? No.
Other people say that this new focus on baseball bats takes away from America’s proud history of playing the actual sport of baseball.
No one is saying that you can’t keep playing baseball as long as the balls are replaced with Nazis. But seriously, you can keep your national past time of baseball as long as people are free to start a new past time of beating Nazis to death with bats.
Finally, some say that a baseball bat is not a profitable product because they last for years. It is true that before I saw Inglourious Basterds, I had one bat that only saw the occasional white-knuckled shake at a passing motorist. But, like I mentioned above, Nazi skulls are incredibly thick, so it’s not unreasonable to assume that the average person could go through two or three bats a week.
Conclusion
I only wish that I could have gotten to Quentin Tarantino sooner and explained to him the benefits of allowing a company to donate bats to Inglourious Basterds. Now the overwhelming need for bats is being satisfied by several companies, some of which sell bats with questionable quality. The only solution is to gather up some Nazis, buy a bunch of bats, and, through grueling trial and error, find a manufacturer that works for you.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
So I guess you missed the Perrier-Jouet Champagne Fleur de Champagne placement in all the bar basement scenes?? Tut Tut!
That sounds suspiciously French, Rob. I try to ignore everything French which, incidentally, made following half of the movie quite difficult.
But I did miss that — Good eye! And it’s even possible to kill a Nazi with a champagne bottle, so I really have no excuse.
-Bryan