Halloween is a magical time full of ghouls, goblins, and borderline despicable Craigslist ads. Topless Robot posted a charming tale of a New Yorker who loves both Halloween and Star Wars. This guy posted an ad on Craigslist for the essential component to complete his “Chewbacca carrying around C3PO” Halloween costume.
Anyone who’s ever tried to pull off the Chewbacca carrying C3PO know that it’s an almost impossible task unless you take time to fashion together some toasters or something in the shape of C3PO. But that sucks. Who wants to do that?
This New Yorker came up with a better solution.
First, we should read over the ad so we don’t miss any important details:
Need an amputee to complete my Halloween costume (Brooklyn)
So this might seem strange and really offensive to some but hopefully someone will reply. I have always loved the scene in Empire Strikes Back where Chewbacca has to carry around a half reconstructed C3PO in a backpack because he hasn’t reattached his lower body yet. For Halloween I would love to dress up like this. I am big enough and strong enough to both pull off the Chewbacca look and to carry around a lot of weight for the night. So basically I am looking for a double amputee (someone missing both legs – preferably at the hip) to accompany me as C3PO for the evening. We should meet ahead of time so that we can work out the backpack/harness system. There are a few parties that I want to hit and I think we will be the hit of any event we attend. Anyone up for this?
This guy is really picky when it comes to people without legs. He’s only interested in amputees for this costume. What’s wrong with people without legs from birth? And it seems unfair to suggest that people without arms couldn’t just fit into the harness upside down.
I like his justification for Chewbacca carrying around C3PO “because he hasn’t reattached his lower body yet.” The sentence following that one should have read “An amputee will fit this costume perfectly because, like C3PO, a higher power (God) hasn’t yet reattached his lower body.”
But it just keeps getting better from that point — “I’m looking for a double amputee (someone missing both legs..).” Someone missing both legs KNOWS SHE’S A DOUBLE AMPUTEE. When the legs got removed, the doctors and nurses didn’t start calling her a double stumpy. Maybe this ad is for that one person who, after reading it, got a confused look on his face, looked down, and screamed.
My favorite part of this entire ad is the “preferably at the hip.” This means that if two double amputees show up for this gig, the one with the most amount of leg left is going home. Can you imagine the person who doesn’t get picked being all upset? “Well fuck, I knew I should have let that wood chipper take a bit more off each thigh.”
If I was a double amputee and this guy didn’t seem like such a crazy dude, I’d totally do this. I could make all kinds of C3PO jokes and yell at Chewbacca to get me more alcohol. It sounds kind of fun. Not as much fun as having legs, but, you know.